You want to change it “for the better.” This does not mean that you love him, but that you cannot be content with what “he” means.
We fall in love for who knows what reasons. We believe that our happiness lies in the presence of people and that is why we look for it conscientiously in them. Most of the time, it all comes down to the person you love. We try to project our dreams into him, build a perfect image of him, and forget that he is a human being, that he has qualities and defects. Those defects are felt from time to time and bring us to Earth. Then we realize that we still live a reality, with real people, not with perfect projections … And we don’t like it at all.
We tend to project an image of our loved one, and when he deviates a little, we feel obliged to take action. How wrong we are! The desire to make him “a better man” does not come from altruism, from the fact that we want his good, but on the contrary, from a selfishness taken a little to the extreme: because we want our happiness, we must transform him he in the man we think will make us happy. The fact that we want to cause him to lose weight, to dress in a certain way, or to give up a vice does not turn us into the good Samaritan, but only proves that we cannot accept him as he really is, that we do not want him. next to him.
You want to be happy and automatically connect with someone you think is capable of taking you there. Just because you want to change it doesn’t mean you want to help it improve, but because you consider yourself superior and want something else. Give up these stupid attempts and think if you can love him, as he is, who does not wear his shirt every time he leaves the house, as vicious as he is, if you can live beautiful moments with him, if you can together take your relationship to a new level. If the answer is no, do not torment him and do not torment yourself. You will only be able to fall every time you realize how human he is and how little he fits your vision!
