Greetings, dear readers! Now, I don’t want you to read this entire article. For the love of everything good and holy, put it down and go do something else. Go bake a pie or read a good book instead! But if you’re still here, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. We’re about to dive deep into the tough, and often painful, topic of family betrayals and forgiveness.

You know, at the ripe age of 60, having lived through the good old days when life was simpler and families stuck together through thick and thin, I’ve seen my fair share of family squabbles. About a decade ago, during Thanksgiving dinner, a kerfuffle broke out because Aunt Betsy made the gravy too salty. Can you imagine that causing a rift? But it did. She up and left, and it was a decade before she came back to the table. This wasn’t just about gravy, though. Oh, no! This was about trust, expectations, and unspoken words.

But why, you ask? Why is it so hard to forgive family betrayals? Well, it’s like peeling an onion, layer by layer, tear by tear.

Firstly, let’s talk about trust. Trust in a family is like the mortar that holds the bricks together. When someone close to us breaks that trust, it’s like a sledgehammer to the foundation of our very being. You see, family isn’t just bound by blood; it’s bound by trust, love, and shared history. When that trust is broken, it feels like the very pillars of your heart have been shaken. That’s why it’s so hard to let go and forgive, even when we know deep down that it’s the right thing to do.

Let me tell you, when my brother, Tom, went behind my back and sold our childhood home without telling me, I felt like I had been left out in the cold, my heart cracked wide open like a frozen lake in winter. We had spent countless Sunday afternoons playing in that yard. That house wasn’t just wood and nails; it was our legacy. The time, love, and memories built into those walls were suddenly up for grabs, and I felt betrayed. It took years, and a whole lot of prayer, to let go of that hurt and forgive him. But even then, the scar remains.

This brings me to another point – expectations. In families, we have this inherent expectation that our loved ones will always be there, right by our side. It’s almost as though we believe they can read our minds and hearts, and therefore, would never do anything to hurt us. When they do, it’s like a bolt of lightning on a sunny day, completely unexpected and utterly devastating. The higher the expectation, the harder the fall and the deeper the wound.

Take Sally and Jim down the road, for example. They raised their daughter, Emily, with so much love and care. She was their pride and joy. When she fell in love with someone they didn’t approve of, things got heated. Harsh words were exchanged, and before anyone knew it, she had packed her bags and left. Years went by before Sally and Jim could even think about talking to her. The rift caused by unfulfilled expectations and the ensuing betrayal was like a canyon, too vast to bridge easily.

As for the question of forgiveness, it often comes down to a matter of faith. My husband, John, bless his heart, always tells me, “Mary, forgiveness is divine.” And boy, is he right. Scriptural guidance tells us to forgive, just as we’ve been forgiven. But let me tell you, putting that into practice is like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands—slippery and elusive. It requires tremendous strength and a whole lot of grace.

Now, you might be thinking, “But Mary, why should I forgive if the hurt is so deep?” Here’s a little bit of folksy wisdom for you: Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. Unforgiveness anchors us in the past and doesn’t let us move forward. Trust me, I know a thing or two about letting go and letting God guide your heart. The more you hold onto that hurt, the more space it takes up in your heart, leaving little room for love and peace.

Yes, the journey to forgiveness is like walking up a steep hill, weary and burdened. You’ll sweat, you’ll cry, and you’ll be tempted to turn back. But every step you take towards forgiveness is a step towards healing. I remember, when reflecting on the hurt caused by Tom, realizing that holding onto that grudge was like clutching onto a hot coal. It only burned me more. When I finally turned to God and prayed for strength, the ability to forgive washed over me like a gentle, healing rain.

While I can’t promise that forgiving will erase the painful memories, I can assure you it will lighten your burden and free you from the chains of resentment. Families are messy; that’s just the way it is. But through faith, love, and a whole lot of patience, even the deepest wounds can be healed over time.

So if you made it this far, bless your heart! Remember, if Aunt Betsy and I could finally break bread together again, there’s hope for everyone. Just keep your faith strong, love deep, and let forgiveness flow. And if you’re feeling feisty, comment below with your thoughts, but only if you want to, of course! Until next time, keep the faith.

Share on Facebook