When your man looks at another woman, this is what it really means
If you’re having difficulties deciphering what’s really going on in his brain when your husband looks at another woman, you’re just in the right place!
Before we dive deeper into this behavior, let’s consider a common scenario:
You’re enjoying a lovely time at a cafe with your husband. You’re talking, laughing, eating, and everything seems perfect.
Suddenly, a woman walks by and instantly, your husband’s gaze follows her from head to toe.
You might feel overwhelmed, confused, insecure, or even a bit betrayed. Questions rush through your mind:
Does he think she’s more beautiful than me? Does he want to be with her? What if he’s been with another woman before?
It’s important to understand that men often can’t help but notice when a beautiful woman walks by. It’s a natural reaction for them.
It’s completely normal for men to glance at other women.
It’s also normal for women to have a visceral, emotional reaction to catching their partner looking.
But why do men look, and what does it mean? Let’s break it down…
What “the look” means
– He finds her physically attractive.– When he sees her, his brain has a chemical reaction. Neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin are released, giving him involuntary pleasure.– Part of him is curious about what it might be like to be with her, in a completely innocent way.
Think about how you might find certain TV stars attractive and wonder about them, but don’t act on it.
In an alternate universe where he was single, he might be interested in her.
What it doesn’t mean
– He finds her more beautiful than you.– He isn’t attracted to you.– He isn’t happy with you or your relationship.– You don’t satisfy him.– You aren’t attractive, skinny, sexy, loving, or affectionate enough for him.– You should be angry at him, jealous of her, or insecure about yourself.– He is unfaithful or planning to cheat.– Your relationship is doomed.
Simply put, his glance has nothing to do with you. The world is full of beautiful sights, and looking at them doesn’t diminish his love for you. Just like admiring a painting doesn’t reduce his feelings for you, neither does looking at another woman.
When it’s a problem
While it’s normal for men to notice other women, there’s a line of respect that a mature and committed man will not cross. Looking is one thing, but staring is another; it can be hurtful, embarrassing, and offensive.
Blatant staring, inappropriate comments, touching, flirting, and cheating are red flags. Such behavior indicates that a man may not be mature enough or respectful enough to control his impulses, which doesn’t bode well for the future of your relationship.
How to deal with your guy’s roving eye
1. Don’t assume
When you notice your man looking at another woman, don’t overthink it. Remember what it means, and more importantly, what it doesn’t mean. A glance does not equal betrayal. He loves you, cares about you, is committed to you, and is still attracted to you. Of all the women, he chooses to be with you.
2. Set realistic expectations
Holding your partner to impossible standards leads to disappointment, hurt, anger, and frustration. Understand human nature and sexual desire. There are many beautiful women in the world, and you are not the only one he finds attractive. Don’t expect him to never notice or look at others.
3. Tell him how you feel
If his wandering eye hurts your feelings or makes you feel inadequate, tell him. Use Non-Violent Communication to express your feelings without blaming or shaming him.
4. Set healthy boundaries
If your partner is committed to making your relationship work, he will be willing to set healthy boundaries. He shouldn’t gaze too often, too long, or too obviously. He should make every effort not to make you uncomfortable. Most importantly, he should show through words and actions that he still wants and cares for you, is still attracted to you, and is committed to your relationship.
