When you can’t forgive someone you can read this …

People long for justice. When someone hurts us, willy-nilly, we want him / her to feel what we felt, to go through the same pain, the same disappointment. Our whole body responds negatively, as if we no longer have blood flowing through our veins, but venom. And this hurts us physically, not just emotionally. Forgiveness at first does not even seem like an option, because we long for the justice we think we deserve.


We have the feeling that if the person who hurt us will experience what we have suffered, if he / she will do something to correct the harm he / she has done, if he / she will tell us what we want to hear, things will work out. We have the feeling that we deserve this, that what is happening to us is not right for us. And yes, it is not fair, but we are the only ones who can correct this.


When we receive a blow, that blow will leave a wound. Emotional wounds behave the same as those in the flesh. To forgive the one who hurt us means to decide to cover that wound, “to let it catch the shell,” but most of the time we don’t want that. We are afraid of who we will become if we give up revenge, our justice, which we consider correct, we are afraid that that wound will leave, after it heals, a scar. By constantly thinking about it, we don’t let it heal in any way, but that’s how we feel it will disappear without leaving any marks.


The truth is, once a wound appears, it will leave marks. Once the past has passed, it will never change. That’s what we need to be aware of. We may not know what we did to deserve such painful treatment, but that’s the way it is. Giving time back is an attribution that is not allowed to us humans. So we have to learn from the bad and get up. God knows why he allows pain.


Forgiveness does not mean betraying ourselves and giving up the justice we consider just. Forgiveness means true justice for us. It means letting go of all the anger, that is, the venom that burns our veins, to leave our system. It means realizing that things will never be the same as they once were, that we must move forward as we are now, with all the new scars.


When God came to earth, He let people mock Him, humiliate Him, crucify Him. And he had no claim or apology. He forgave us all, even though he was innocent. He is the example we must have in our lives. Although he was right, he preferred to sacrifice himself for some creatures who deliberately choose to live their lives wrong. We, whatever we suffer today, do not compare with what He experienced when He chose to bear the sins of all on the cross.


It will be a long time from the decision to forgive until you no longer feel the pain. But to forgive means to stand up, to decide that what happened will not define you from now on. It means liberation. It means a new chance for you, not for who hurt you. It means not letting that event lead your steps. It means being in control of your life, not the negative feelings that people have caused you. It means fighting for peace. It means regaining the power you lost when you fell. Forgiveness is a selfish gesture, because only in this way will you get better yourself: leaving to the past what is of the past.


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