Teaching my Husband a Lesson: The Struggles of New Parenthood

Welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting time, but for one mom, it also led to a major struggle with her husband over their parenting roles. In the whirlwind of joy and exhaustion in the early days of parenthood, this mother found herself longing for just a moment of peace and alone time.

On Reddit, she shared her frustrations. She explained that her daughter was only two months old and exclusively breastfeeding. However, she also noticed that her daughter found comfort in being close to her, not just for feeding but also for emotional support.

This meant that she had very little time for herself. “I’ve only had one shower by myself since having her, and it only lasted long enough for me to soap up before she started crying and my husband brought her into the bathroom with me. I think I had all of 2-3 minutes,” she wrote.

Meanwhile, the mother noticed that her husband’s life hadn’t changed much. He still enjoyed long, uninterrupted showers every day without realizing how it frustrated her. Whenever she was in the shower and the baby cried, her husband would bring the baby to her to calm her down. It made her angry that he didn’t even try to soothe the baby on his own, but his excuse was that the baby loved showers and seeing her cry hurt him deeply.

Despite her husband’s sweet intentions, the mother decided she needed to find a way to take care of herself without always having a baby handed to her. So, she called in some help. She asked her mother to watch her daughter while she took a shower. When her husband arrived home and saw his mother-in-law there, he became upset.

Surprisingly, he was angry at his wife for calling her mom just to get a shower. “I could have watched her. Why would you do that?” he asked. The mother explained, “Every time you watch her while I shower, she ends up in here with me within 2 minutes because you don’t even try to calm her down.”

After five days of trying to find a moment to shave her legs, she couldn’t wait to enjoy the warm water and relax her muscles. “I need some self-care,” she emphasized.

The mother’s story struck a chord with other Reddit users who shared their own experiences and offered advice. One commenter challenged the husband’s logic, asking why he didn’t take the baby in his 30-60 minute showers if they were so calming.

Another suggestion was for the mother to lock the bathroom door temporarily and teach her husband a lesson about respecting her privacy. Another user pointed out that the husband had made himself look bad in front of his mother-in-law and needed to realize that he could also care for his daughter without always relying on his wife.

The conversation delved deeper into communication and support within marriage. Commenters found it absurd that the husband was more concerned about his wife calling her mom than about her well-being. “You found a way around it. And now, even knowing how hard it’s been for you, he’s still not actually concerned about you. He’s just worried about how it looks to your mom,” remarked one commenter.

One mother shared her own experience of her husband interrupting her hair appointment. She had a serious conversation with him, making him reflect on all the haircuts he had gotten since their baby arrived. She told him never to interrupt her alone time unless it was an emergency. Another commenter shared a personal story of how she and her husband found a way to work as a team.

Allocating responsibilities and setting boundaries helped them both understand the challenges and joys of caring for a newborn while fostering empathy and understanding. “That night, my husband became an equal parent,” the commenter added.

Parenthood is a journey of learning and adapting, and it’s important for both parents to share the responsibilities and support each other.


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