While our mothers are often expected to be our biggest support systems, the reality doesn’t always match up. Stephy, at the age of 24, found herself in the darkest phase of her life with three young kids and nowhere to turn except to her mother. Unfortunately, her mom refused to help her. Fast forward to today, and the tables have turned. Stephy’s mother is now the one in need, and Stephy is unsure of what to do. She reached out to us for advice on handling this complicated emotional dilemma.

Below is Stephy’s Letter:

At 24, I became a widow with three kids after my boyfriend died in a car accident.

With a minimum-wage job, it was impossible to both pay rent and feed my kids. I had no choice but to ask my mom if we could stay with her. She said no, saying that her new boyfriend wouldn’t approve.

Those were the hardest years of my life. My children and I had nearly nothing. We relied on coupons to get by, I juggled three jobs, and managed to survive on barely four hours of sleep each night. Gradually, bit by bit, I was able to build a stable life. Today, I’m a proud mom with healthy kids and a steady income.

Seventeen years later, my mom suddenly appeared at my door, after years of no contact.

She’s now alone, homeless, and asking for my help. She begged me to let her stay for at least a week. When I turned her away, she claimed, “If I had helped you back then, you wouldn’t have achieved all this. You have your own home now and seem to be doing well.”

I was shocked by her nerve. But she continued, “My then-boyfriend made me forget my duties as a mother. I was blinded by love and fear of losing him. I’m sorry.”

Before leaving, she added, “Please don’t forget that mothers make mistakes too. I’m only human…”

I cannot forgive her, not after she ignored me and her grandchildren all these years, knowing full well that we had nowhere else to turn.

What should I do?

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