While our mother is supposed to be our biggest support and ally in times of need, reality doesn’t always align with our expectations. When Stephy was 24, she found herself facing the darkest period of her life, with three kids and nowhere to turn but to her own mother. However, her mom refused to assist, leaving Stephy in a difficult position. Now, years later, her mother is the one seeking help from her daughter. Stephy reached out to us seeking advice on how to navigate this complex situation.

Below is Stephy’s letter:

At 24, I became a widow with three kids after my boyfriend died in a car accident.

Earning minimum wage and unable to pay rent and feed my kids simultaneously, my only option was to ask my mom to take us in. She refused, saying that her new boyfriend wouldn’t like it.

I lived through the toughest years of my life alone; my kids and I were deprived of almost everything. We survived on coupons, I worked three jobs, and didn’t get more than four hours of sleep for years. Slowly but surely, I was able to stand on my own two feet after a few years. Now, I am a proud mom with healthy kids and a steady income.

Seventeen years later, my mom showed up at my door, despite not having heard from her in all that time.

Now she’s alone, homeless, and asking for my help. She begged me to let her stay for at least a week. As I closed the door on her face, she declared, “If I had helped you then, you wouldn’t have been able to achieve all this. Now you have your own home and you seem to have succeeded in life.”

I couldn’t believe her audacity. But she continued, adding, “My then-boyfriend had made me forget that I had duties towards you as a mother. I was blinded by love and afraid to lose him. I am sorry.”

Before leaving, she said, “Please don’t forget that a mother is not devoid of mistakes. I am only human…”

I cannot forgive her, not after she ignored me and her grandchildren all these years, knowing full well that we had nowhere else to turn.

What should I do?

Yours,

Stephy

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