When you first become a parent, it’s common to need a little assistance. Often, this is when you are in your 20s or 30s, trying to build your career and maintain the status quo. Having a child can make it difficult to be well-rounded. One of the ways we often get help is through our own parents, who are the grandparents of the new baby. They chip in to assist, and sometimes, they may even be a regular part of their lives as a babysitter.

Now, isn’t that the perfect picture? Grandparents lovingly babysitting their grandchildren out of the goodness of their hearts. But alas, not all families are created equal, and sometimes, things can take a turn for the dramatic, as they did with my family. Picture this: my mother-in-law dropped the bombshell of the century by asking for payment to babysit her own grandchild. Hold onto your knitting needles, folks; it gets stickier.

So here’s the situation: my husband and I have been blissfully married for a decade. We have a sweet little six-month-old baby, and both of us work full-time jobs. My husband works from home, and I slog it out at the office every day. Recently, my mother-in-law retired and generously offered to babysit our little bundle of joy while we were working. Naturally, we gratefully accepted her offer. After all, she’s wonderful with kids and also helps out with cooking, cleaning, and doing the dishes! A real super-grandma, right?

Fast forward to yesterday, and my serene world came crashing down. My mother-in-law, the same one who’d selflessly offered to help, approached me with what felt like an invoice. Yes, you heard right. She asked us to pay her for the time she spends with precious little Katie. The nerve! Can you believe it? I mean, putting a price tag on quality time with her own grandchild—absolutely shocking!

Now, let me take you on a trip down memory lane. Back in the good old days, my grandma used to babysit me and my sister without ever expecting a penny. She did it out of sheer love and affection for us. And hey, I also spent countless hours babysitting my siblings for free. It was just something we did. So naturally, my mother-in-law’s request left me speechless, frustrated, and, frankly, shaking my head in disbelief.

And here’s where it gets sticky. This whole debacle is causing some serious tension in my marriage. My husband, ever the pragmatic one, thinks she should be compensated. He argues that if we didn’t have her help, we’d have to hire a stranger to take care of Katie, which would likely be a lot more expensive. Ugh, why does he have to make sense?

So there I am, caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, it feels entirely wrong to pay family for something that’s traditionally been done out of love. On the other hand, it’s hard to ignore the financial benefits of keeping it in the family, even if money exchanges hands. My brain is wrestling with this conundrum and trust me, it’s not a pretty sight.

At this point, I’ve run out of options and steamed out of patience. I keep running the scenarios through my head, trying to find a logical and fair resolution, but all I get is a mental “AAAHHHH.” So here’s the big question: should grandparents be paid for babysitting their own grandkids, or is that just a line that shouldn’t be crossed?