Oscar had just driven his sparkling new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. As soon as he parked it, he headed inside for a relaxed look around with Jan, his usual sales assistant.

Jan, a cheerful blonde, welcomed Oscar warmly as he entered the store. But today, Oscar wanted to browse on his own first. Jan respected his wish and let him explore the aisles.

Just five minutes later, a breathless Jan rushed over to him, shouting, “Oscar! Oscar! Someone is driving off with your new Mercedes!”

“Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” asked Oscar in alarm.

“No,” she replied confidently, “I did something better! I got his license plate number!”

A farmer once bought a small pot-bellied pig for his daughter.

The girl called the pig “Stinky” when she played with it in the yard, but referred to it as “Ballpoint” when it was in its pen.

One day, her father asked, “Why do you have two names for your pig?”

“That’s easy,” his daughter responded with a smile, “Ballpoint is just his pen name.”