Bob found himself in a bit of a pickle.

You see, Bob had forgotten his wedding anniversary, and his wife was none too pleased about it.

She sternly told him,

“Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”

Bob was determined to make amends, so he woke up early the next morning and left for work.

When his wife awoke, she looked out the window, and there it was, a nicely wrapped box right in the middle of the driveway.

Still puzzled, she quickly threw on her robe, dashed outside, and brought the mysterious box inside.

With trembling hands, she opened it, only to find… a brand new bathroom scale.

Needless to say, Bob has been missing since Friday.

In some religions, you talk to a priest when you need to confess your wrongdoings. Depending on the severity and frequency of your missteps, you might be asked to say certain prayers or perhaps even receive a form of penance.

Many individuals involved in these practices might not take them too seriously, but some find a way to navigate even the strictest systems to their advantage. And that brings us to a humorous little story.

A teenage boy visits the church to confess his sins.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl,” he begins.

The priest, curious, asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

“Yes, Father, it’s me,” Joey replies.

“And who was the girl you were with?” the priest inquires.

“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation,” Joey responds.

The priest persists, “Well, Joey, I’m going to find out her name sooner or later, so you might as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say,” Joey insists.

“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Nina Capelli?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

“Please, I cannot tell you,” Joey stands firm.

With a sigh of frustration, the priest says, “You’re very tight-lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone for it. You cannot be an altar boy now for four months. Go and behave yourself.”

Joey returns to his seat, where his friend Franco eagerly awaits the news. “What’d you get?” Franco whispers.

“Four months vacation and five good leads!” Joey grins.