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  MY HUSBAND WAS ALWAYS TAKING THE KIDS “TO GRANDMA’S” — UNTIL ONE DAY MY DAUGHTER CONFESSED IT WAS ALL A LIE

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  WAITRESS MADE ME KNEEL IN THE RESTAURANT — HER REASON SHOCKED ME TO TEARS.

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  MY TODDLER WALKED INTO THE HOTEL ROOM WEARING A FULL SCUBA SUIT—AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE GOT IT

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  I stopped by McDonald’s for a quick meal and overheard a mom talking to her little girl

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  Last night, we had dinner at Olive Garden

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  NOBODY EXPECTED FIFTY BIKERS AT MY SON’S FUNERAL—LEAST OF ALL THE FOUR TEENAGERS WHO PUT HIM THERE

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  FOOD STARTED DISAPPEARING FROM MY HOME WHILE I WAS AT WORK

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  A POOR GIRL WAS ASKED TO SING AT SCHOOL AS A JOKE… BUT HER VOICE LEFT THE ROOM SPEECHLESS!

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  THE COP WHO STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS HE SHOULDN’T HAVE

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  MY PROFESSOR HELD MY BABY DURING LECTURE—NOW THE INTERNET IS DIVIDED

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  I HEARD WHAT HE SAID TO HIS DAUGHTERS OVER LUNCH—AND I CAN’T UNHEAR IT

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  MID-AIR PANIC: THE MAN IN 12C WASN’T BREATHING—AND ALL EYES TURNED TO ME