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  MY WIFE SCRAPPED MY 1967 IMPALA—SO I TOOK HER TO COURT

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  I REFUSED TO REMOVE MY DAUGHTER’S LOCK—AND NOW EVERYONE’S MAD

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  MY HUSBAND WORKS NONSTOP—AND I THINK HE LIKES IT THAT WAY

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  MY NIECE DYED HER HAIR BLUE—AND THE REASON SHOOK ME

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  IT WAS ONLY ME AND MY DOG – I HAD NO OTHER FRIEND LEFT IN THIS WORLD

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  MY MOTHER-IN-LAW THINKS I’M JUST HER REPLACEMENT

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  THE LITTLE BOY WITH THE HUGE SHOPPING CART WOULDN’T STOP

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  MY WIFE’S KLEPTOMANIA WAS JUST A QUIRK—UNTIL THIS TIME

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  MY MOTHER-IN-LAW WANTED ME TO BE HER SON’S WIFE—AND HER CLONE

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  A BLONDE GIRL SAVED ME WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD

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  I GOT A PROMOTION—BUT NOW MY COWORKERS WON’T SPEAK TO ME

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  MY NEPHEW WANTED A HOVERBOARD—BUT WE COULDN’T AFFORD ONE