A Journey of Love, Secrets, and Healing

There’s something deeply unsettling about not knowing the whole story, especially when it involves the people you love the most. My name is Kevin, and I have been married to my lovely wife Levine for 15 wonderful years. We have a beautiful daughter named Emily, who is still quite young and attending school.

A woman sitting looking through a window | Source: Freepik

However, about six months ago, I noticed a change in Levine. She started withdrawing from me and Emily, growing distant by the day. Her smiles became fewer, and she spent many nights awake. I even caught her crying in the bathroom on multiple occasions. Whenever I approached her, she brushed off my concerns, saying, “I’m fine.” But deep down, I knew something was wrong.

For months, this unspoken tension hung over our family, causing our relationships to crack. One evening, I pleaded with Levine to talk to me. I found her at the window, staring into the backyard, her shoulders tense. She murmured, “I just need some air, Kevin. That’s all.”

Feeling scared for her and for Emily, I urged her further, “It’s been months of ‘just needing air.’ You’re scaring me, baby. You’re scaring Emily.” She turned to me, tears in her eyes, and said, “I can’t, not yet…” before turning back to the window.

Yesterday, when I returned home with Emily from school, the house was eerily silent. My wife, who was usually at home when we arrived, was nowhere to be found. On the kitchen table, I found an envelope with my name scrawled across it in Levine’s familiar handwriting.

My heart sank as I opened the letter. With tears streaming down my face, I discovered that Levine had been diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. She had chosen not to tell me in person, fearing that she would never be able to leave. Her deepest fear was becoming a burden to me and Emily.

In her letter, she expressed her love for us and her desire to protect us from the pain of watching her deteriorate. The choice she made to go to a quiet hospice two states away was the hardest decision she had ever made, but it was made out of love. My heart broke for her, and I realized that I loved her more than ever before.

Without a second thought, I packed a bag and told Emily that we were going on a little trip to see her mom, who wasn’t feeling well. Emily, with a worried face, asked, “Is she going to be okay, Daddy?” I promised her that she would feel much better when she saw us.

When we arrived at the hospice facility, the reality of Levine’s condition hit me hard. She was frail and weak, a shadow of the vibrant woman I had fallen in love with. But when she saw us, her eyes lit up with a mix of joy and sorrow, and she instantly looked better than I had envisioned.

We spent her last weeks together, fulfilling her life goals and making precious memories. We went for walks, with Levine in a wheelchair, and she got to share with Emily all the things she wanted her to know before her passing.

During those weeks, we talked, laughed, and sometimes sat in silence, cherishing every moment. Emily read her favorite books aloud, and I held Levine’s hand every night until she fell asleep. In the end, she passed away peacefully, surrounded by love.

In the wake of her passing, I’ve come to realize the strength it took for her to make the decision she did. Her act of love was selfless, protecting us from the pain she believed her illness would cause. And even though she isn’t physically here with us, her love remains a gentle reminder of her enduring presence.

Now, as Emily and I navigate a world without Levine, we do so with a deep understanding of the last gift she gave us. Her love lingers around us, invisible yet palpable, like the subtle fragrance of her favorite flowers. Even in her absence, love remains.

 

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