My mother left when I was just 9 months old… She had dreams of being a famous writer and decided my dad and I would be a burden. My father raised me alone. He was my rock. He gave me a stable, loving home and took care of everything without ever complaining.
For years, I didnโt care to know her. She was just the woman who left.
But when I turned 18, everything changed. Out of nowhere, she showed up again. She cried, begged for forgiveness, tried to explain that she had to leave. Neither my dad nor I were ready to hear it… Honestly, I was still so angry.
A week later, I received this package, but I wasn’t ready to open it. I really couldnโt bring myself to do it.
Then, everything shattered. My dad came home one day, pale and shaken, and told me she had passed away from an illness…
That night, I opened the package. And what I found inside broke me into a thousand pieces.
Inside was a thick envelope, stuffed with handwritten pages. Some were journal entries, some were letters addressed directly to me. There were also old photosโher holding me as a baby, her sitting on a train platform with a tattered suitcase, a picture of a small bookstore I didnโt recognize.
But the first letterโฆ that one undid me.
It started with: โTo my beautiful child, Niaโฆ I know you probably hate me. And honestly, you have every right. But please, please read this all the way through before you decide who I really was.โ
I donโt know what made me keep reading. Maybe it was the way my name was written, like it had weight. Like it meant something. Or maybe it was the fact that she never once tried to excuse what she didโshe owned it. Every line dripped with guilt, sorrow, and something else I didnโt expect: truth.
She explained that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was 22. That she had episodes of depression so deep she couldnโt get out of bed for days, and highs that made her believe she was invincible. She told me that when I was born, she loved me so much it scared her. She thought she would mess me up beyond repair.
And the worst part? She didnโt leave to become famous.
She left because during a manic episode, she emptied out my dadโs savings to self-publish a novel and almost burned the house down trying to cook while hallucinating. She checked herself into a facility after that. My dad never told me. He shielded me from everything.
Thatโs why she stayed away.
She said she came back when she felt stable. That she had found a small job at that bookstore from the photo, had been on her meds consistently for years, and was readyโterrified, but readyโto try to explain. She knew it might be too late.
It was too late.
I cried so hard that night, I couldnโt breathe. Not just because I felt sad, but because I felt guilty. Guilty for hating her. Guilty for refusing to see her. Guilty for never asking my dad why she leftโjust assuming it was selfishness and nothing else.
The next day, I asked him. I straight-up asked my dad, โWhy didnโt you tell me the truth?โ
He looked at me with eyes that had always been steady. But they were watery now.
He said, โI didnโt want you to grow up feeling like you were abandoned because of a sickness. I thought if you saw her as the villain, it would be easier to heal.โ
That hit harder than anything. Because I hadnโt healed. Not really. Iโd just carried this resentment around like a security blanket.
Then he said something Iโll never forget.
โShe didnโt want you to grow up with chaos. She wanted you to have peace. And as much as I hated what happened, I think… deep down… she was trying to protect you the only way she knew how.โ
We sat in silence for a long time after that.
I ended up visiting that bookstore from the photo. It was four hours away, in a sleepy coastal town. The owner recognized her right away. Said her name was Maribel, and that she was the sweetest, most passionate person theyโd ever met. Always scribbling poems during lunch breaks. Always asking about new books for โher daughter Nia.โ
They didnโt even know I existed, but she talked about me constantly.
That day, I bought the one copy of her book they had on the shelf. It was about a mother and daughter who meet again after years apart. Fiction, but… not really.
I read it cover to cover in one night. It was messy and raw, just like her letters. But it was beautiful.
And it helped me forgive her.
Not because she did everything right. But because, at the end of the day, she was human. Flawed, but full of love. And maybe love isnโt always enough to make someone stayโbut sometimes itโs enough to bring them back.
If youโre holding onto anger, I get it. But donโt wait too long to ask questions. To dig deeper. Sometimes the story isnโt what we thought it was. Sometimes the villain isnโt who we imagined.
Sometimes, healing starts with just opening the package.
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