Gather ’round, dear readers, for a tale that might make you rethink your partner’s shower routine. Our protagonist, a woman in desperate need of advice, posted her predicament on the ‘Am I the A**hole’ forum. The conflict? Her boyfriend has some rather… unorthodox beliefs about anal hygiene.
In mid-May, she discovered the shocking truth while sharing a shower with her beau. Picture this: soap in hand, he meticulously massaged it over his body, sans loofah or washcloth. Okay, not the end of the world, right? But then came the twist.
“I recently learned that my boyfriend does not wash his butt in the shower,” she confesses. “We were taking a shower together, and I saw that he applied soap to his hand and carefully massaged it over his body. He stated that he showers with his hands rather than a loofah, washcloth, etc.”
While the absence of a scrubby device might be forgivable, what follows isn’t.
“I also observed that he did not wash his buttocks. He explained that when he takes a shower, the water rinses over his buttocks, and that is how he washes it.”
Not wanting to shame her partner but eager to educate him on proper hygiene, she delicately explained the appropriate technique.
“I tried to be kind, since perhaps his parents had never taught him how to shower properly. I advised him he should open his cheeks and wash in the crack. I assumed we had reached an agreement that he would do so.”
Refuses to Clean His Crack
A few days later, she decided to follow up on their conversation. Had her advice sunk in?
“I’ve asked him if he has washed his butt since…He said no that he thought it was nasty to stick his hand in there to wash it,” she recounts.
Now, she’s contemplating whether this is a deal-breaker.
“This time I am starting to distance myself from the relationship. [In my opinion] he is a grown man that doesn’t practice basic hygiene. In his opinion, he needs time to get comfortable with the idea of it,” she shares.
Before asking the Reddit community, “AITA for breaking up with my [boyfriend] because he doesn’t wash his butt?” she adds, “I can’t tell if I’m being too harsh on him or if my wanting to end things is justified. Do I throw away the best partner I’ve ever had over this?”
‘Open Sewer’
The online community didn’t hesitate to weigh in, unanimously declaring her “NTA.”
“I’m a dude. Your boyfriend is gross,” one user asserts.
A medical professional chimes in, “As a nurse who has unfortunately seen WAY too many men with unwashed butts, it IS gross.”
Another user jests, “You can lure a man to shower, but you can’t make him bathe.”
Other commenters pointed out a bizarre yet pervasive theory among a subset of men who think washing their rear end might question their masculinity.
“There is a (small, I hope) group of people that think washing one’s butt makes one gay. How they expect to attract any women while smelling like an open sewer is something they have not yet been able to explain,” shares one bemused user.
The original poster, however, notes, “I lost my smell back in October 2020 from covid and never got it back,” explaining why she hasn’t picked up any foul odors.
