Adam’s wife passed away suddenly and the man is still grieving.
My late wife, Emily, was my school sweetheart. We’d known each other for so many years before we finally got married. Our wedding day has always been and will always be the brightest memory in my life. Emily was so beautiful in her wedding dress, and I remember I even cried when I saw her wearing it for the first time.
Emily passed away last year. Her death was sudden, she just fell down to the ground on the street and died immediately. The ambulance couldn’t do anything but confirm her death. To me, her passing was almost the end of my life. I am still in my early grief, and I haven’t even fully realized that Emily’s gone forever now.
We have three daughters; the eldest, Gerry, recently got engaged. She is getting married soon, which should be a pleasant event in our family, but in our situation, it has sparked an everlasting quarrel between me and her.
Adam’s daughter wants to wear her late mom’s dress to her own ceremony.
Recently, Gerry approached me and told me that she wants to wear Emily’s wedding dress to her wedding. I immediately told her it wouldn’t be a good idea. Apart from the fact that I don’t want anyone, even my own daughter, to even touch this dress, I have another reason for being so protective of my late wife’s clothes.
My late wife’s wedding dress had a unique narrative. Emily had fashioned it herself, by hand. She had worked on it for two months and refused to accept aid from anyone, including her grandma, whom she adored.
Emily became pregnant while we were still dating. We were overjoyed with the news; despite the fact that we were both young and had a long life ahead of us, neither of us saw children as a hindrance. We were ecstatic and on cloud nine.
We told our parents, and they were very supportive. They promised to help us with the baby, and we were confident that we would have a lovely life as newlyweds and parents. We had already decided on a name for the baby: Emily, after her mother. However, tragedy struck when Emily gave birth to a girl who died in the hospital two hours later.
The wedding dress had a special value for Adam and his late wife.
Emily insisted that we should honor the memory of our baby, and she asked medical workers to make our daughter’s footprint on some piece of clay for us. This piece of clay with a footprint was later put into a small sack and sewn into Emily’s wedding dress. This was the way to honor our baby daughter’s memory, and Emily insisted that this was important for her at that time.
None of our daughters knew about this, because we had kept it a secret from them. When we had another conversation with Gerry about the dress, I forbade her to even touch it, let alone wear it during her wedding. I simply explained it to her that she can’t wear the dress because her mom wouldn’t want her to do it. Gerry instantly became furious, she started calling me names, saying that I’m a bad father and that I am gatekeeping my wife’s things.
I told her no again, and then I said that I don’t object, and she can wear some of her late mom’s jewelry. But she wouldn’t even listen, she insisted on wearing that dress, and she even started blaming me of ruining her wedding.
I tried to approach her a million times, offering her various options instead of that crazy idea about wearing Emily’s dress. I suggested that I would buy her a very expensive designer dress, I offered her to pay for her wedding, I even wanted to buy her some nice jewelry as my present to her on her special day. But she doesn’t even talk to me about these options, and she’s now working hard on making things even worse between us two and between me and the rest of our family.
Many people judge Adam for his decision, and his family rejected him.
Now, all of my daughters are against me, out of their solidarity with their sister. Even my parents are judging me, they say the dress is only a piece of fabric and there’s nothing to fight about with my own daughter. They insist that I must stop prohibiting my daughter from wearing her mom’s dress, and they say it will be an honor of her memory.
Emily would never allow anyone to touch her wedding dress. I believe I shouldn’t even explain to Gerry, why I am so persistent in prohibiting her to wear it. I think my daughter shouldn’t know about this painful memory, she must accept my will as it is. Now, I am totally lost, because I’m expected to make a decision which I can’t make, and if I insist on it, I will lose my daughter’s trust. What should I do?
