I Excluded My Mom From My Wedding Ceremony to Please My Mother-in-Law

For many women, a wedding is one of the happiest days of their lives. However, conflicts, often involving mothers-in-law, can arise and cast a shadow over the joyful event. Recently, Lara, a newlywed, reached out to us, sharing a deeply troubling incident that occurred during her wedding.

In her letter, Lara wrote:

โ€œI was raised by my adoptive family from the time I was a baby. It was a stable upbringing, but two years ago, my biological mother, Clara, reappeared in my life. Initially, I found it hard to forgive her for the years of absence, but as she shared her story, I couldnโ€™t help but empathize. She was young and alone when she had me, lacking the resources to raise a child, which led to her decision to put me up for adoption. Sheโ€™s a humble woman, lacking formal education and financial means. Nonetheless, I embraced her presence in my life, feeling blessed to have two mothers.

Meanwhile, Iโ€™ve been in a relationship with my now-husband for the past four years. He comes from a wealthy family similar to my adoptive one. However, when my biological mother resurfaced, my mother-in-law wasnโ€™t pleased.

My MIL always looked down on her and excluded her from family gatherings, considering her unfit for our circle. For our big day, my MIL funded everything under one condition: Mama Clara shouldnโ€™t attend the upscale event. I felt devastated. However, despite my strong desire for her to be there, I chose not to risk complicating my relationship with my in-laws.

So, I convinced myself, thinking, ‘My birth mom never attended any of my significant moments while I was growing up, so it should be okay for her if she skips this one too.’ When I informed her of the decision, she simply nodded.

On the big day, as I prepared to walk to the altar, a stranger tapped me on the back and handed me a letter. Glancing back, I saw Mama Clara in a parked taxi, waving at me. But with the ceremonial music starting, I couldnโ€™t approach her and just proceeded with walking in.

Just after the ceremony, I read her poignant letter, in which she expressed her lifelong longing to meet me and her deep sorrow at being excluded from such a significant moment. She wrote that she understood my dilemma and had decided to step out of my life, not wanting to be a source of shame or complication…

Since that day, I couldnโ€™t get a hold of her either on her phone or at her apartment. Now, I find myself grappling with the pain of losing her once again. I realize the hurt Iโ€™ve caused, and Iโ€™m unsure how to mend our relationship. I want to make things right, but I feel lost.

Sincerely, Laraโ€

ย