Decisions are made in two!
The little experience I gained in the 2 months and a little marriage taught me something. From the decision to get married, to the planning of the wedding and to living with the man I chose to be with me all my life and who, in turn, chose me for the same purpose, the One who was always by our side. and he guided us, who made everything easy, who pulled the weight for us, it was God … and I’m sure He pulled some strings and that the choice of life partner was actually His. One of the most beautiful gifts he has given us is for each other. He knows us both better than we know ourselves and certainly knows better than we do why He created us and what our purpose is, and we, once we became aware of this, left everything in His Hand and Him. please lead our steps, heart and mind to where He wants us to be. And I mean, it’s the best thing we’ve been able to do with our lives.
The message that I believe God has had for us since the wedding has been that He is the only one who is allowed to intervene in our decisions. He is the only one who is allowed to guide us. And I also learned that there are many “benevolent” people, and here we are talking about friends, brothers and parents. They will always have an opinion, they will have something to say, and they will definitely do it. What the couple has to do is listen, if necessary to analyze the options, then make decisions in TWO.
One of the most common reasons for divorce is the “inspired” intervention of parents or in-laws, and many people start a new life without completely detaching themselves from them … without being aware of this aspect. Whether it is moral or material dependence, some people simply cannot detach themselves from their parents, and this becomes a major problem in married life.
The fact that we have to respect our parents has no doubt, but that does not mean that, due to the respect we have for them, they have the right to lead us. Before making the decision to start a family, you need to think seriously if you have the maturity, both mentally and materially, to be able to cope with this stage. It’s wonderful, but with outside interference it can turn into a torment.
If you know you want to have that man by your side for the rest of your life, you have to fight for it. You have to fight for material stability, you have to put your thoughts in order. If you still rely on your people to give you pocket money, then they can ask for explanations for their money, they can ask for certain sacrifices that you will make for them. This will come unconscious from them, even if they want to know that their child is happy. The idea of parental happiness may not coincide with your idea, of the young couple. And it is possible to impose on you what they want for you, because there will always be that psychic pressure of belonging, once the material power belongs to them.
Psychic dependence on parents, insecurity to detach from them are perhaps bigger problems than the lack of own income. This is the part of your life that you have to solve, to gain that mental independence, to be in control of your thoughts and ideas and to be willing to make every decision with a man of the same level as you, not superior, as I am. the parents. That means more work on your part, because you will become the adult in the family. We are aware or not, our parents have been living longer than us, they have had time to know more, they probably know more, and the way we think will have little of their way. However, everything must have a correct ratio. Before marriage, take some time to weigh yourself well if you can live for your new or old family, if you can start your own family, or if you are still a child in the arms of your loved ones.
The decision to marry has effects on your entire life and includes separation from your parents, siblings and sisters. Of course, no one forces you to forget them, to never see them again, but to be aware that things are changing, and their word must in no way weigh more than that of your spouse. Ideally, you should have your own house, because automatically the rules in your parents’ house, if you live there, will be theirs and not yours. Apart from God, you must not let anyone get into your life. The rules are set in pairs, decisions are made in pairs, and weights happen in pairs.
