Mom Called ‘Selfish’ For Refusing To Give Her Own Engagement Ring To Son & His Fiancée

Falling in love is one of the most beautiful feelings a person can experience. It can be exciting and terrifying all at the same time, and the idea of getting to spend the rest of your life with your “forever” person can be truly life-changing and magical. These are just a few of the many reasons why getting engaged – and later married! – is such a memorable experience.

There is a lot of planning that goes into a proposal, as one partner needs to figure out when they are going to propose, where they are going to pop the important question and what the ring will look like. Some people like to pick out their ring ahead of time to make sure it’s as perfect as possible, while others are completely surprised by what their loved one hand-picked themselves!

One mother went to Reddit in August 2021 to explain how her 26-year-old son, Sam, and his 26-year-old fiancée, Emily, had recently gotten engaged. Rather than buying a new ring, Sam explained that he wanted his mom’s engagement ring to give to Emily so they could start treating it like a family heirloom.

However, the mom was not willing to part with her ring just yet. She still wore it every single day and the ring still held plenty of sentimental value to her. After she declined, family drama ensued to the point where Sam even called his mother selfish.

Since then, the mom has wondered if she was wrong to not give her son and her future daughter-in-law her engagement ring, and turned to Reddit users for their advice.

In her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) said that her son and his longtime girlfriend, now fiancée, finally decided that they wanted to get married. “They had announced their engagement privately to my husband and me, and after the initial excitement, they said they had something important to talk to me about,” OP said.

It turned out that Sam was hoping to give OP’s engagement ring to Emily for a multitude of reasons. “Sam said this would be a great way to keep him from starting his marriage in debt from having to buy a new expensive diamond ring,” she explained. “Emily also added that she has liked the look of my ring a lot and would love for me to pass it down to her.”

According to a 2021 study conducted by The Knot, the average cost of an engagement ring is about $6,000. However, this can vary depending on the couple and the region where they live. There are also several diamond ring alternatives, such as lab-grown diamonds or other jewels. Only about 8% of people spend under $1,000 when purchasing an engagement ring.

Even though OP was flattered that her son and future daughter-in-law loved her ring, so did she. She explained:

“I love my engagement ring. I have worn it every day since my husband proposed to me with it and to be honest, I still have plenty of years to live that I want to keep wearing it until I am old and grey.”

On top of that, the ring was not a family heirloom, as OP’s husband had picked it out himself and purchased it himself. “So, I told them that I appreciated them wanting my ring, but no, I wanted to keep it,” OP stated.

Unfortunately, this did not go over well with Sam and Emily. Even though OP explicitly stated why she wanted to keep her own engagement ring and also offered to pass it down to Sam and Emily’s future children, the engaged couple was not happy that they weren’t getting the ring yet.

“Well, Sam and Emily weren’t happy with my answer and Sam actually called me selfish and materialistic,” OP said. “He said that diamonds are a scam and asked how I could let him go into debt to buy a new ring.” OP also said that Emily was “disappointed” that she wouldn’t be getting her engagement ring.

Due to Sam and Emily’s reactions, OP wondered if she was wrong for not wanting to give away her engagement ring, but many Reddit users came to her defense. One user commented, “I’ve always marveled at how people can have the audacity to call someone selfish for wanting to keep their own possessions while at the same time demanding that others should hand over their money or property to them.”

Another said, “If he can’t afford the ring he probably can’t afford a wedding either. She doesn’t need a real diamond, there are plenty of alternatives… They are truly entitled.”

OP edited her post to thank Redditors for their input and also said that her husband defended her decision. She said, “He said he is on my side and would have respected my decision with the ring, but he admitted that he was happy that I still love my ring so much after all these years!”

What do you think about this mom refusing to pass down her engagement ring to her son and her future daughter-in-law? Do you have any family heirlooms? Let us know, and feel free to pass this along to your loved ones.


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