Bill Murray health: ‘I was ready to die’ – actor on overcoming suicidal thoughts
Acting legend Bill Murray has recalled being “ready to die” until he came across a piece of art that stopped his suicidal thoughts.
As a young comedian, Murray was on the brink of suicide. In an interview from 2014 which has recently gone viral, the star spoke about his early days as a comedian performing in Chicago.
He said how when he first started, he “wasn’t very good” and had little “desire to stay alive”.
“I remember my first experience on the stage — I was so bad, I just walked out on the street and started walking.
“I walked for a couple of hours and I realised I had walked the wrong direction — not just the wrong direction in terms of where I lived, but the wrong direction in terms of a desire to stay alive,” he recalled.
One day, the actor headed for Lake Michigan to end his own life.
“If I’m going to die… maybe i’ll float for awhile,” he said.
But the desperate comedian never ended his own life.
On his way to the lake, Murray found himself in front of the Art Institute of Chicago, compelled to head inside.
He said he walked in “because I was ready to die”.
He was stunned by an 1884 painting called “The Song of the Lark”, which showed a peasant woman in a field with a gorgeous orange sunrise behind her.
“I’ve always loved this painting,” he said in the interview decades after the event.
“I saw it that day and I just thought, ‘Well, there’s a girl who doesn’t have a lot of prospects, but the sun is coming up anyway, and she’s got another chance at it.’
“So I think that gave me some sort of feeling that I, too, am a person and get another chance every day the sun comes up.”
Over his life, Murray has opened up about experiencing symptoms of depression.
In an interview with The Washington Post, discussing his feelings after a breakup, he said: “No person could make me smile, no person could make me glad in any way. I was a really, really unfortunate character for a pretty long time.”
According to the Samaritan’s latest data, there were 4912 suicides in 2020.
The Movember foundation suggests that three out of four suicides in the UK are by men.
