Ah, trust. That magical ingredient that holds relationships together. But what if you start feeling like Sherlock Holmes in your own love story, constantly on the lookout for clues your partner might be keeping secrets? Fear not, my dear Watson. Here are seven hilariously obvious signs (and a few that require less detective work) that your significant other might be hiding something under that poker face.

1. Their Voice Goes from Sinatra to Squeaky

Ever noticed how your partner’s usual silky smooth voice suddenly turns into a squeaky toy? Uh-oh, someone’s nervous. They might even start clearing their throat as if auditioning for a cough syrup commercial. Nervous vocal cords are their body’s way of saying, “Houston, we have a secret.”

2. Eye Contact: The Great Escape

Windows to the soul? More like double-paned windows with the blinds closed. If your partner can’t look you straight in the eyes, it’s time to channel your inner mom and say, “Look at me when I’m talking to you!” Those darting eyes are planning an escape route for their guilty conscience.

3. Vague Answers and Shifty Eyes

Q: “Where were you last night?” A: “Oh, you know, just around.” Vagueness is sketchier than a $5 bill in a Monopoly game. And if their eyes are dancing the Macarena to the left, they’re possibly crafting a good ol’ fib.

4. Fidgety and Restless

Notice your partner doing a tabletop salsa dance with their hands? When you’re alone and they fidget more than a kid in a doctor’s office, take note. Restlessness is their body’s way of screaming, “Get me out of this interrogation room!”

5. The Blame Game

Classic deflection. They suddenly make you or your friends feel like you’re under the spotlight. That’s not because they started a career in theater; it’s because they’re trying to hide their own guilt. If you feel like you’re guest-starring in a drama called “Not Me, It’s You,” they might be concealing something serious.

6. Nervous Body Language

Imagine this: You’re having a chat and they’re slowly turning their body away like a turtle retreating into its shell. Or worse, they start biting their nails as if they’ve found a new crunchy snack. Hands in pockets? Classic “comfort while I lie” maneuver. If they’re acting like they’re in a bad game of charades, something fishy is going on.

7. Poker Face On

Finally, the pièce de résistance: the poker face. If your partner looks like they’re ready to compete in the World Series of Poker with zero expressions, they’re probably covering up feelings—or secrets. They want to make sure you become the master of body-language-reading because, well, they’re not giving anything away.

Well, there you have it—signs that you could be living with a secret agent or, at the very least, a really bad liar. But remember, these signs aren’t foolproof. Sometimes a nervous tick is just a nervous tick. Trust your instincts and have an open conversation. After all, even Sherlock Holmes needed Watson.

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