Finding the courage to tell your bae that you stuck your tongue down someone else’s throat is never an easy thing to do. You may try hard to hold on to that secret for a long time, but somehow, in some way, it’ll slip. Perhaps someone will tell him before you get the chance to. Or perhaps you tell him by accident, sending him a text that should have gone to your side guy. Either way, coming clean about jumping into another guy’s bed is something that might make you feel a whole lot lighter and sure of what you want in the future — whether that’s to stay with your current guy or break up and start fresh.

Check out how these six women confessed they were cheating to their partners:

1. There was wine.

Ah, good ol’ liquid courage. Let’s be real, wine can make you feel like you’re on top of the world or, in this case, ready to tumble down it. For Liana P., 28, confessing her affair became a late-night conversation accompanied by a glass (or four) of Merlot. While the vino might have lessened the initial sting, the hangover from that confession was definitely memorable too. — Liana P., 28

2. I wrote a note.

They say the pen is mightier than the sword. In this case, it’s mightier than the awkward confrontation. Yen S., 28, took the literary route. She poured her heart out in a handwritten letter, hoping her words would convey more than she could bear to say face to face. A little old-fashioned, but hey, it got the job done. — Yen S., 28

3. It happened at couples therapy.

Oh, the counselor’s office – where secrets go to die or at least lead to a lot of Kleenex usage. For Terri F., 35, couples therapy was the ideal place to spill the beans. Surrounded by a professional mediator and enough tissues to fill a pool, she let her partner know. It’s a move that guarantees at least one objective witness to the drama. — Terri F., 35

4. He asked me.

Sometimes the jig is up before you even open your mouth. For Cassie Z., 20, the words came out simply because her partner asked her directly. Talk about being put on the spot. With nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, she came clean, no tricks involved. — Cassie Z., 20

5. It happened by accident.

Oops, there it is! The accidental confession. Lacey S., 34, found herself spilling the truth purely by chance. Maybe it was a slip of the tongue, maybe a wrong text. Either way, secrets have a funny way of revealing themselves when you least expect it. — Lacey S., 34

6. I did it after our divorce.

Timing is everything, and for Vivian S., 39, the timing was post-divorce. Denying reality wasn’t on the menu anymore, so she laid the truth bare. After all, what’s there to lose when you’ve already lost it all? — Vivian S., 39

Confessing an affair is never a walk in the park. Whether it happens with the help of wine, written words, a third party, or sheer accident, it demands guts and, quite frankly, a lot of stress management. At the end of the day, owning up to your actions could be the first step to whatever the future holds, be it a patch-up or a breakup. Stick around and see what’s trending next. Life’s always throwing curveballs, and catching them can be quite the experience.

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